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💡 TLDR
Ugh, finally someone said it: Limerence isn’t just a phase—it’s a full-blown love addiction that kept me a virgin at 41. For 25 years, I dated, hooked up, and chased over 100 men, but never once felt …
Ugh, finally someone said it: Limerence isn’t just a phase—it’s a full-blown love addiction that kept me a virgin at 41. For 25 years, I dated, hooked up, and chased over 100 men, but never once felt like I was actually in a relationship. I was just… waiting for the right one. Turns out, I was waiting for myself. My therapist called it “longing is your lover,” and honestly, she’s not wrong. Limerence—this obsessive, dopamine-driven crush thing—made me think I was falling in love when I was just high on the thrill of the chase.
Here’s the thing: limerence isn’t love. It’s the brain’s version of a junkie craving a hit. You’re not falling for someone; you’re chasing a fantasy. I’d text my LOs for days, then get ghosted, and instead of feeling sad, I’d feel… excited. Like, “Oh no, they’re ignoring me! That means they must like me!” Ugh, I was so bad at reading social cues. My ADHD made me hyper-focus on tiny signs—like a “love” on a post or a wink at work—and mistake them for proof I was worthy. But really, I was just proving I was a total mess.
The real kicker? Limerence is a system. You trigger it (thinking about your LO), you behave (texting, obsessing), and you get a dopamine hit (anticipating their reciprocation). It’s a loop, and it’s addictive. I tried to break it by writing scenes where my LOs left me feeling like trash, but honestly, it took a whole lot more than that. I had to rewire my brain to focus on real connections, not just the thrill of the chase.
KEY POINTS: Limerence isn’t just a crush—it’s a dopamine-fueled obsession that keeps you chasing an idealized version of love. Breaking free means reprogramming your brain to focus on real connections, not just the thrill of the chase. And yes, sometimes you have to rewrite your own story to stop obsessing over someone else’s.
💫 So, are you still chasing that “LO” or ready to date someone who’s already in your corner.
So, are you still chasing that “LO” or ready to date someone who’s already in your corner?
❓ People Also Ask
Can limerence cause emotional trauma?
Yes, limerence can lead to emotional pain, especially when unrequited or unfulfilled, causing feelings of rejection, confusion, and low self-esteem.
How long does limerence last?
Limerence typically lasts 6 months to 2 years, though it can persist longer. It often fades as new relationships form or emotional maturity develops.
💬 What do you think? Let us know in the comments! 👇