✨ Let’s get into it ✨
💡 TLDR
The vibes are immaculate with a little something called roster dating. It’s the 2020s version of dating where you’ve got a squad of hotties on speed dial, and it’s basically the ultimate flex. Emma, a…
The vibes are immaculate with a little something called roster dating. It’s the 2020s version of dating where you’ve got a squad of hotties on speed dial, and it’s basically the ultimate flex. Emma, a 20-something singleton, swears by her “ecosystem”—a rotating crew of five guys who serve different purposes: the one for epic dates, the one for late-night texts, and the one who might be worth a real shot. “I’m honestly one of those people who gets bored very easily,” she says. “So my ‘roster’ kept things interesting and fun for a while.” Sound familiar?
But here’s the hot take: roster dating isn’t just a trend—it’s a strategy. Think of it like a sports team: you’ve got your star player, your backup, and your bench. The idea is to stay emotionally efficient, avoid heartbreak, and keep your options open. “You spread yourself out amongst other people to prevent being dependent on one person,” says Amanda Mbata, a therapist. “It’s the age-old idea of, if no one gets close to me, they can’t hurt me.” But here’s the catch: when you start treating dating like a spreadsheet, it feels less like a connection and more like a transaction.
The perks? Validation without the pressure, fun without the commitment, and a safety net when things go south. But the downsides? It can feel transactional, like you’re playing a game instead of building real intimacy. “Even though the behavior might look the same on the surface, the intention behind dating changes,” says Keisha Saunders-Waldron. “One is organic; the other is calculated.” And let’s be real—when you’re juggling five people, your calendar looks like a Google Calendar nightmare. Ben, who once saw five people consistently, admits he “had to use my Google Calendar religiously—it was a lot of work.”
So, is roster dating the smart move or a slippery slope? For some, it’s a way to stay free and flexible. For others, it’s a trap that leaves you feeling empty. “Once I had [a lineup of people], though, the glimmer faded quickly,” Ben says. “So…this is it?” The thing is, when you start optimizing every interaction, you’re not just dating—you’re strategizing. And that’s where the loneliness kicks in. Because at the end of the day, no app or system can replace the thrill of a real, messy connection.
💫 Societal pressure often forces people into it, making it less natural.
KEY POINTS: Roster dating is about efficiency and keeping options open, but it can feel transactional and shallow. Societal pressure often forces people into it, making it less natural. The real question is: does it leave you feeling connected or just…checked off?
CLOSE: So, are you in or out? Let’s chat in the comments—what’s your take on roster dating? 🌟
❓ People Also Ask
How does roster dating work?
Roster dating involves a group of people rotating through dates in a structured schedule. Each person dates others in a set order, promoting connection and reducing social pressure.
Is roster dating effective?
Roster dating can be effective for building genuine connections. It encourages meaningful interactions and helps people meet others outside their usual social circles.
💬 What do you think? Let us know in the comments! 👇